It's my life

So tonight my kitchen sink backed up because my garbage disposal is clogged. My landlord who hates me cuz we are always late with rent and brought bed bugs into his building is now working on it. Then some hose in the van came undone and won't stay fixed long enough for us to get paid!

It's seriously one thing after another. I keep trying to just chug forward, but it gets harder and harder every day. For so long things went well, or at least nothing breaking and no crisis'. I don't know what it all means. What we are supposed to do. I don't know what God is trying to tell me.

When this real estate thing came along it seemed like God was throwing it my face and then my mom's as well. Like it was meant to be. But why would something that is meant to be have so many obstacles just to be able to work on it. Or is it punishment for not making good use of the time I had to work on it.

I just want a good life for my kids. I want to be happy and spend time with them. I want them to have a life I could only dream about. I know I can do whatever it takes, so why is so hard to do it?

I'm so depressed lately, I don't know why. I was so sad all day today for no reason what so ever. I just can't shake it. I don't think it has anything to do with Pete, but sometimes I do wonder...

Ignorance is bliss?

So one old man living in our apartment building found out we have bed bugs, only cuz we have been throwing out our beds and couch by the dumpster, which is next to his garage. He's been calling the landlord to have him remove our things. Yesterday morning he went off on Pete about us putting our things there. Then yesterday afternoon we found out that he was telling our neighbors not to let their kids play with ours because we are dirty and have bed bugs. So far it seems that it's not keeping other kids from playing with ours, but I'm very concerned about what people think of me and my kids.

I realize this old man has nothing better to do than talk poorly about us, but does he not realize how telling people that could effect our kids who are innocent in all this?

Some of my insecurities about it is that it'll get back to Chris. I don't want him to know we have them. I'm also worried about what's gonna happen when our lease is up at the end of the month. We've not been the best to Dallas, but we also have no where to go. I'm also concerned cuz Chris did give me a good reference to Dallas so I could move in. So much on my mind, I'm just ready to have my life go right, al least for a little while.

still bugging out...

It's been a crazy busy week. Haven't gotten hardly any cleaning done, but I have Monday off and will be doing massive amounts of cleaning while I have the house to myself. These things are nasty! We finally through Aric's bed away and it was so disgusting, bugs everywhere!

Yesterday I decided to take a 48 hour break from the real estate business. I just needed time to think and come back at everything with a clear mind.

So many things are going on, I don't know what path I'm supposed to be on, but I'm trying to find it.