So tonight my kitchen sink backed up because my garbage disposal is clogged. My landlord who hates me cuz we are always late with rent and brought bed bugs into his building is now working on it. Then some hose in the van came undone and won't stay fixed long enough for us to get paid!
It's seriously one thing after another. I keep trying to just chug forward, but it gets harder and harder every day. For so long things went well, or at least nothing breaking and no crisis'. I don't know what it all means. What we are supposed to do. I don't know what God is trying to tell me.
When this real estate thing came along it seemed like God was throwing it my face and then my mom's as well. Like it was meant to be. But why would something that is meant to be have so many obstacles just to be able to work on it. Or is it punishment for not making good use of the time I had to work on it.
I just want a good life for my kids. I want to be happy and spend time with them. I want them to have a life I could only dream about. I know I can do whatever it takes, so why is so hard to do it?
I'm so depressed lately, I don't know why. I was so sad all day today for no reason what so ever. I just can't shake it. I don't think it has anything to do with Pete, but sometimes I do wonder...
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