where I'm at

I don't understand why he won't talk to me. I wish he would just say ANYTHING to me. It's just driving me crazy.
The other day I saw a saying on fb, something like, if you want to know where your heart is, look where your heart goes, something like that. But it rang so true to me when it comes to him. He's always on my mind.
I'm so unhappy. I think it's 90% Tori, 7% Pete and 3% my own mind. I love Tori and all, but I'm ready for her to go live in PA again or for the 2 of them to get a place of their own. I suggested it to Pete once that we live separate, but he didn't like the idea at all. I know he didn't like it cuz he would have to do all the work and take care of things all on his own. I think that I'm going to start counciling  now that I have insurance. Need to figure out why I'm so tired and unmotivated. I feel like I'm what's holding our business back. Have to get it going, want it and am so ready for it. Just don't understand why I don't let that take over and actually work on it, instead I always say 'tomorrow'.

Then today I saw a baby who has downs syndrome and then had some breathing problems too cuz it had oxygen. Seeing the baby and it's family made me thank God and remember how much I love my family and how lucky I am. I thank God every day for my family and the life I have!