refocused

I need to be refocused. I'm straying at 'taking action'! I've just been distracted by life. I'm just so exhausted at the end of the day that I just want to relax. Yet I know if I push myself that I have it in me to keep going. I just dont sleep well and I'm always so tired.

I know my relationship is a huge, HUGE part of it. I have just a little bit of a rotten feeling about him and Christy again. I need to look at his phone more closely tonight. So far I have been proven wrong, but there's still something not right. The only reason that I can logiclly think of for her to have blocked me, is that somehow she saw who was veiwing her page and blocked me. But it seems so unlikely.

I want so much for our future, but my favorite dream is that we are indepentaly strong and live apart, but still live as a family, still doing stuff together and living our lives apart. But he's too ignorant for that to ever happen.

I just wish I could have the strength to even talk to him about it. I just know him and how he will react.